Understanding Eating Disorders

Eating disorders are difficult for many people to understand. "Why won't she just eat?" "If she hates bingeing, why does she keep doing it?" "Why can't he just stop exercising so much?"

The first step to answering these questions is to understand that the eating disorder is not simply about food, weight, or vanity, though it often begins that way. By the time the person's relationship with food reaches the "disorder" stage, that relationship with food (and the behaviors, thoughts, and feelings associated with it) is being used to help soothe some sort of emotional pain. Until that pain gets addressed, the person will not likely be able to stop the behavior(s) that brings her some relief from the pain.

One path to an eating disorder begins with a person who is dissatisfied with her appearance. She starts to diet and starts to lose weight. The process of losing weight becomes psychologically rewarding. For example, eating less than everyone else becomes something the person is good at, something she feels proud of. For those who experience the pain of low self-esteem, this is very alluring. In addition, by controlling her food intake and her weight, she feels that she has some control over her life. In a world where many of us feel that we have no real impact on anything, this can be extremely reinforcing.

There are many other paths to developing an eating disorder. Sometimes it starts with a particular relationship with food. For example, many people turn to food as a comfort. Overeating, like dieting, can be psychologically rewarding. It can be very comforting to know that you can dull the pain of feeling alone, stressed, or sad by zoning out and eating a gallon of ice cream. If you have no other way of coping with emotional pain, you might turn to food more and more often.

It is crucial to understand that the behaviors associated with eating disorders (restricting food intake, bingeing, purging, overexercising, etc.) become coping mechanisms. The person uses these behaviors, often without realizing it, to deal with whatever kind of stress or painful feelings she is facing at the moment. Thus, the eating-disordered behaviors stop being about managing one's appearance and start being about managing life.

Often the person with the eating disorder does not recognize that the eating disorder has become a primary way to cope with her life. Taking away this coping mechanism would be as terrifying to the person as taking away a security blanket from a toddler -- the world simply doesn't feel safe or manageable without it. Remembering this helps explain why eating disorders are so stubborn and why people with eating disorders are often so conflicted about giving them up.

No one sets out to develop an eating disorder, but the behaviors quickly become addictive and the person can quickly lose control over them. This is why professional treatment is needed, and is important to begin as soon as possible. The longer an eating disorder exists, the harder it is to treat. Begin by contacting a therapist or primary care physician who specializes in eating disorders.